Badass Habits - Book Summary

What can you gain from rethinking your habits?

We all wrestle with stubborn habits—from always being late to never being able to pass up a sale—even though we know they’re not doing us any favors. Transforming these habits, however, is rarely simple.

This summary will guide you on a fresh path to change. Understand first how your underlying biases, fears, and desires can trap you in these hard-to-break cycles. Then, find out how to interrupt these cycles and establish newer, healthier ones.

In this summary, discover:

- Why adopting a puppy might be simpler than changing a habit;

- How a trip to the nail salon could influence your habits;

- And why mastering the art of saying no could be your key to new opportunities.

Transform your identity to revolutionize your habits

Imagine your relationship with sugar is putting your health on the line, much like Alice, a 30-year-old who struggled with her sugary indulgence. Despite the immediate pleasure, Alice faced breakouts, weight concerns, and guilt after every sweet treat.

Determined to make a change, Alice ditched the snacks, consulted nutrition experts, and immersed herself in anti-sugar content. But these steps, while helpful, weren't enough. She found herself continuously on the brink of reverting to her old habits. The decisive change came when Alice started to see herself not just as someone trying to eat healthily but as someone who just doesn't consume sugar.

Here lies a profound lesson: To effectively change your habits, consider transforming who you are.

A habit, fundamentally, is a routinely executed behavior that operates on autopilot. It could be a beneficial routine, like buckling your seatbelt, or a less helpful one, like constantly misplacing your wallet.

Habits operate on a simple mechanism — linking a trigger and a response with a reward. Take a universal habit like exercising. The sight of your gym might prompt a workout (the response), leading to a flood of endorphins and a sense of achievement (the reward). This cycle, when repeated, becomes more automatic.

However, these processes mostly occur without our conscious awareness. To initiate a change, you must first identify the triggers and responses in your habits. For Alice, it meant recognizing times when stress led her to reach for sugary foods and understanding the rewards she gained from these habits.

Once you spot these patterns, it becomes possible to modify them purposefully. This modification isn't just about changing your actions but about changing your self-perception. Alice had to shift her self-image from one of a sugar-craver to that of a health-conscious individual. This shift in identity is crucial because when you redefine who you are, your habits naturally align with your new self-concept. In the following section, we will explore how to solidify this new identity effectively.

Setting strong boundaries to underpin healthier habits

Imagine you’re fed up with dragging yourself through mornings. You dream of waking up refreshed and ready for a sunrise yoga session, as a true morning person might. But, life keeps throwing obstacles in your path—a late work meeting here, a night out there—and your dream starts slipping away.

If only you had set strong boundaries from the start.

This brings us to a crucial insight: Strong boundaries are essential for cultivating strong habits.

When you’re trying to forge new habits, it’s vital to embody a new identity and adhere to the actions that this identity requires. This effort demands that you take charge of your own time, energy, and emotions. If you let external circumstances dictate your actions, maintaining consistent habits becomes nearly impossible. Hence, establishing robust personal boundaries is key.

Setting boundaries involves deliberately choosing how you interact with the external world in order to stay aligned with your goals. Think about the limits that need to be in place for you to succeed. Determine what behaviors you will accept from yourself and others, and identify which aspects of your life you can actually control.

Often, you'll find that your boundaries are not as concrete as they need to be. You might find yourself agreeing to commitments that conflict with your goals, or tolerating behaviors that derail you. For example, if you’re aiming to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle, it would be contrary to your goals to dine at a barbecue joint—suggesting a vegetarian-friendly restaurant instead would be more in line with your new identity. Similarly, if your goal is to remain peaceful and centered, getting embroiled in social media controversies would be counterproductive; stepping away from online chaos can help maintain your calm.

Adopting these boundaries may initially feel daunting, especially if you’re accustomed to accommodating others at your own expense. Start small to build your confidence. Perhaps begin by saying no to a persistent salesperson or by keeping encounters with overbearing neighbors brief. These small acts of assertiveness can be surprisingly empowering.

Ultimately, as you practice setting and maintaining boundaries, you'll not only protect your energy but also create a solid foundation for your new, healthier habits to flourish.

Aligning new habits with heartfelt desires ensures lasting change

Picture receiving a phone call from a close friend who excitedly informs you that her dog unexpectedly gave birth to puppies. Overwhelmed with curiosity and excitement, you visit and are instantly smitten with the playful litter. Your friend then offers you a puppy to adopt.

Though logistically, you understand adopting a pet requires significant time and effort—you need to walk, feed, and care for it—something deeper tugs at your heart. That irresistible cuteness wins you over, and you decide to take the puppy home, driven by a genuine desire.

This scenario mirrors the way we adopt new habits: true desire can significantly influence our decisions and commitments.

Here's a compelling thought: New habits are more likely to endure when they resonate with our deepest desires.

Consider a list of habits you wish to cultivate, such as eating healthier, practicing meditation, or keeping in touch with family regularly. Assess why you’ve chosen these particular habits. Beyond the obvious logical benefits, such as health improvements from a better diet, there's likely an emotional drive too.

Our behaviors are fueled by a combination of rational decisions and emotional impulses. A new habit becomes ingrained more easily when it appeals to both our mind and our emotions. For instance, your daily decision to choose a salad over a burger isn't solely because of the health facts you've read, but because you're emotionally invested in becoming a healthier, more energetic person.

This emotional connection is crucial. Instead of focusing solely on the habit itself, anchor it to your core desires and the vision of your ideal self. Visualize this version of you: Does the new habit help you become this person? If the connection is weak, the habit is unlikely to stick.

Pursuing this ideal can be challenging, and not every day will be perfect. Setbacks are natural and don't necessarily mean a lack of desire. In the next section, we will explore effective strategies to keep you aligned with your goals, even when obstacles arise.

Kickstart your new habit with a focused 21-day effort

You've pinpointed the habit you want to develop—it aligns with your desires and you're ready to commit. But how long will it take to make this new behavior second nature? While timelines can vary, committing to a concentrated 21-day effort is a solid approach to embedding a new habit.

Even if this seems daunting, there's no need to feel overwhelmed. By breaking it down day by day and using a few strategic techniques, you can lighten the journey significantly.

Here is how you can solidify your new habit with just three weeks of dedicated effort:

Start by crafting a personal mantra on the first day. This mantra should be a positive affirmation that resonates with your goal. For example, if you're aiming to give up smoking, a mantra like "I cherish my healthy, vibrant lungs" can reinforce your resolve. Whenever doubts creep in, repea your mantra to stay focused and motivated.

Next, make it a habit to track your progress and celebrate small victories. Marking each day on your calendar with a vibrant sticker or a special pen can be incredibly satisfying. Additionally, reward yourself appropriately after completing your daily goal—but choose rewards that don't contradict your efforts. Enjoy a favorite episode of a TV show after a workout, but steer clear of treating yourself with sweets if your aim is to eat healthily.

As days pass, maintain the momentum by eliminating potential setbacks. Remove any triggers that might tempt you to revert to old habits. For instance, if reducing alcohol consumption is your goal, it's wise to keep your home alcohol-free. Simultaneously, prepare to make your new habit as accessible as possible. If morning workouts are your target, pack your gym bag the night before to smooth out your morning routine.

Maintain a positive outlook and appreciate each step forward. If you encounter a setback or skip a day, don't allow it to derail you. Recognize the slip, then push forward with even greater determination. Mistakes are part of the process—they're not a signal to give up.

These 21 days of effort aren't just about forming a new habit; they're about proving to yourself that you can commit to and achieve meaningful change. With a positive mindset and a structured approach, transforming a desire into a durable habit is entirely within your grasp.

Embrace your best self by cultivating positive habits

Take a moment to leaf through old photo albums or browse through your past social media posts. What do you find? There will be highlights—photos that capture moments of triumph, joy, or sheer glamour. But interspersed among these are likely to be snapshots capturing less flattering moments: silly antics, regrettable fashion choices, or evenings when you might have enjoyed yourself a bit too much.

Resist the urge to purge these imperfect moments from your history. They’re as much a part of your journey as the achievements and triumphs, illustrating a full, lived life. Remember, the pursuit of new habits isn't about achieving perfection—it's about striving to be the best version of yourself while embracing the entirety of your experiences with kindness.

The essential takeaway here is: Cultivating good habits aims at enhancing who you are, not reaching a state of flawlessness.

It's easy to get swept up in the mechanics of self-improvement—fine-tuning your diet, optimizing your fitness routine, chasing the ideal sleep schedule—and lose sight of what makes life truly meaningful. Obsessing over self-optimization can lead to missing out on quality time with friends, neglecting hobbies that bring joy, and forgetting to simply have fun.

Throughout your 21-day journey of habit formation, keep in mind the real reasons behind your pursuit of change. Enhancing your fitness or improving your dietary habits is not just about personal health; it's about enriching your life so you can enjoy more quality moments with those you cherish.

As you establish new routines, make sure they serve to elevate your authentic self. Maintain the hobbies you love, cherish your sense of humor, and accept your imperfections. Not every aspect of your personality needs to be polished; oftentimes, it's the quirks that make you uniquely you.

Above all, practice self-compassion. In a world that often prizes perfection and success, it's easy to fall into the trap of setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or feeling inadequate. The most valuable habit you can foster is learning to love and accept yourself just as you are.

By integrating these principles into your life, you're not just forming habits; you're crafting a lifestyle that honors and reflects your truest self.

Wrapping it up: The power of transformative habits

Habits are those automatic behaviors and routines that subtly dictate our daily lives. While some of these habits enhance our wellbeing, others could stand some improvement. To successfully adopt a new habit, it's crucial not just to perform new activities but to connect with them both intellectually and emotionally. Rather than simply exercising, for example, reshape your identity to see yourself as someone who embodies health and vitality. Commit to your new routine for 21 days, and you'll find that it becomes not just something you do, but a part of who you are—a seamless aspect of your everyday life.