Humor, Seriously cover

Humor, Seriously - Book Summary

Why Humor Is a Superpower at Work and in Life (And How Anyone Can Harness It. Even You.)

Duration: 27:55
Release Date: July 24, 2024
Book Author: Jennifer Aaker & Naomi Bagdonas
Categories: Management & Leadership, Communication Skills, Career & Success
Duration: 27:55
Release Date: July 24, 2024
Book Author: Jennifer Aaker & Naomi Bagdonas
Categories: Management & Leadership, Communication Skills, Career & Success

In this episode of 20 Minute Books, we delve into "Humor, Seriously" by Dr. Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas. Published in 2021, this insightful book unveils the compelling benefits of integrating humor into the workplace. Drawing from an array of scientific research, psychology, and enthralling anecdotes from seasoned experts, Aaker and Bagdonas articulate how humor not only fosters a lighter, more joyful atmosphere but also fortifies trust and sparks creativity among teams.

Dr. Jennifer Aaker, renowned for her extensive research on how purpose and meaning influence individual choices, brings her expert perspective to the narrative. Her scholarly work has featured prominently in top publications like the Economist and the New York Times. Naomi Bagdonas, a Stanford professor and seasoned coach for executives and celebrities, brings practical, real-world applications of humor to the book, informed by her dynamic workshops for Fortune 100 companies and nonprofits.

"Humor, Seriously" is a must-read for leaders striving to cultivate trust within their teams, managers aiming to unleash creative potential, and anyone who wishes to infuse their work life with more joy and levity. Join us as we explore how levity can be a powerful tool in creating more engaging, productive, and enjoyable work environments.

Why humor is your secret weapon in business

Picture yourself as the leader of an innovative new company. You've recently brought on a talented group of individuals and decide to kick things off not with formal meetings, but a casual, fun-filled cocktail evening. You step up, microphone in hand, ready to dazzle your new team with charm and wit.

"Hello, everyone. Welcome! Think of me not as your boss, but as a friend who can fire you!"

Silence. Just...silence.

It seems humor may have missed its mark this time — but that’s not to say it doesn’t have a place in the workplace. In fact, the book "Humor, Seriously" argues quite the opposite. While that joke at the cocktail party may have flopped, understanding and utilizing humor can significantly enhance creativity and productivity in business environments.

You might think you're no comedy genius, but don't worry. This book isn't about turning you into the next Tina Fey or Seth Meyers. Instead, it’s about unlocking your innate sense of humor to forge stronger relationships, spark creativity, and build a successful, resilient team.

Through engaging examples and practical advice, "Humor, Seriously" delves into:

1. How to converse in a way that's relatable and engaging;

2. Identifying the right moments for humor to lighten the mood or enhance a message;

3. Leveraging laughter as a tool to boost team creativity and innovation.

So, ready to learn how a touch of humor can transform your leadership style and your workplace? Let’s dive in — with perhaps a bit more tact than at our imaginary cocktail party.

Unlocking the power of humor: More than just laughs

Think about this — many of us hesitate to inject humor into our interactions due to fear of not being funny or worries that our attempts to be humorous will miserably fail. Perhaps your own children don't consider you particularly amusing, echoing a common sentiment many of us face. The misconception that humor is innate and that you either "have it" or you don't can stifle our willingness to even try. But here’s an encouraging thought: humor is a skill that can be honed, not a fixed trait.

Imagine those tiny tots tasting lemons for the first time — their amusing reactions might seem naturally funny. However, humor extends beyond these candid moments. It's more about bringing joy and lightness into everyday interactions rather than performing stand-up comedy routines.

Research highlights a somewhat sad statistic: as per a Gallup survey involving over 1.4 million individuals across 166 countries, adults laugh significantly less after the age of 23. Why do we laugh less when we get older, especially when joining the workforce? Often, it's due to the heavy cloak of "professionalism," which sometimes mistakenly translates to being overly serious.

This transition away from the spontaneous laughter often seen in children might be costing us more than we realize. Let's delve into the benefits of laughter, confirmed by numerous studies. Laughter doesn't only feel good; it also triggers the release of a cocktail of beneficial hormones. Endorphins, which give us a sense of euphoria similar to a post-exercise high, and dopamine, which boosts our happiness, are both released when we laugh. Moreover, oxytocin, known as the "love hormone," enhances trust among individuals, while a reduction in cortisol levels means lower stress.

In essence, laughter integrates the benefits of a vigorous workout, a calming meditation session, and the intimate connection from a romantic encounter — all while being completely appropriate for the workplace.

So, the next time you hesitate to share a light-hearted comment or a genuine smile, remember — embracing humor is not just about making others laugh. It's about fostering connection, enhancing health, and enriching our professional and personal lives.

Discover your humor type: Which one are you?

Understanding the diverse landscape of humor can be quite an eye-opener, especially if you're looking to bring more laughter into your life or workplace. Broadly speaking, humor can be categorized into four primary styles — each offering unique ways to engage and lighten the atmosphere.

First off, meet the stand-ups. These individuals thrive on bold, sometimes edgy humor. They're resilient, not easily offended, and have a penchant for darker or more confrontational jokes. If you love a good roast and can laugh as hard at yourself as you do at others, you might fit right into this category.

Next, there are the magnets. These are the perpetually upbeat, charismatic individuals who radiate positivity. Magnets are often seen as the life of the party, spreading joy and laughter wherever they go. If you find yourself giggling before a joke is even finished, your humor style might lean towards that of a magnet.

Then, consider the sweethearts. This group excels in gentle humor that warms the heart without crossing lines. Sweethearts are masters of the kind, feel-good joke that uplifts without offending. If you're the person who carefully crafts a light, witty comment that brings a smile to everyone’s face, you likely have the makings of a sweetheart.

Lastly, we have the snipers. Known for their sharp, cutting wit, snipers can deliver a punchline that's both hilarious and, occasionally, a little stinging. Their humor is often wrapped in a layer of sophisticated sarcasm. If deadpan one-liners are your go-to, you might be a natural sniper.

Each humor type has its strengths and fitting moments. Importantly, understanding these can help you choose the right type of joke or humorous comment for various situations. It's not just about sticking to one style; rather, it’s knowing how to adapt and blend these approaches to suit the context and the company you're in.

So whether you identify as a stand-up, magnet, sweetheart, or sniper, remember: your goal isn't just to "be funny." It's about being authentic and relatable. If you're not sure where you fit, don't worry — humor is a natural part of human interaction, and with a bit of observation and practice, you'll find the style that best suits your personality and enhances your relationships.

Finding humor in truth: A delicate dance with reality

Humor, at its core, isn't conjured from nothing. It's often rooted deeply in the truths and daily absurdities of our lives. Think about your week. Maybe you awkwardly told a waiter to enjoy his meal too, or your kids hilariously reminded you that grandma rules the house, despite your high-flying job title. These slices of life, these genuine snippets, are universally relatable and provide fertile ground for humor.

What makes these everyday follies so amusing is their inherent truth. When we share these real moments, we're not just telling jokes; we are striking chords of commonality. Someone else might chuckle and nod, saying, "That's so true! That happens to me too!" This recognition builds connections and cements relationships, bridging our experiences with laughter.

However, while mining personal and shared experiences for humor, it's crucial to navigate sensitively. Emotional truths, particularly those tinged with pain or anger, can be powerful, yet they must be handled with care. For instance, if something irks you, turning your frustration towards a fictional or non-specific target can allow everyone to empathize and laugh without feeling targeted or uncomfortable.

Moreover, timing is everything, especially with topics that edge on the painful. The adage "too soon?" can often apply if jokes are made before an audience is ready to laugh about a painful event. These situations require patience and a keen sense of collective feeling to turn potential discomfort into a future funny anecdote.

Another rich vein of humor can be found in life's contradictions and contrasts. For instance, even if you’ve just secured a significant business deal, you might still be running errands to pick up cream from the grocery store at your grandmother's insistence. Sharing these contrasts helps humanize you to others, cutting through the formal façade of roles and titles.

In essence, humor drawn from truth isn't just about making people laugh; it’s about making them nod, reflect, and connect. It turns the mirror on our shared human experience, reminding us that beneath the varied exteriors, we often face the same humorous plights. So, take a moment to observe, share wisely, and let the genuine humor flow — sensitively and inclusively.

Enhancing your humor: Tips from the pros

Mastering humor isn't just about recounting funny incidents from your life—it's also about how you tell them. To boost your comedic flair, "Humor, Seriously" authors turned to experts from renowned improvisation schools like Second City in Chicago and The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. They gathered some indispensable tips to refine your humorous expressions.

Firstly, embrace the art of exaggeration. This involves taking a mundane event and amplifying it beyond expectations to catch your audience off guard. For instance, John Mulaney's recount of a spa visit where, instead of undressing, he decides to put on more clothes for comfort is a perfect example. This twist not only surprises but also amuses, as it flips the expected scenario on its head.

Secondly, specificity enhances relatability. When you're specific about details, you paint a clearer, more vivid picture that draws listeners into your narrative. Describing John Mulaney putting on a sweater and corduroy pants, as opposed to just 'more clothes,' helps the audience visualize the scene more distinctly, amplifying the humor.

Next, analogies can be a powerful tool in humor. They draw a parallel that highlights the absurdity of a situation by comparing it to something unexpectedly similar. Hasan Minhaj describes conversations with his father as akin to an M. Night Shyamalan movie—long with no satisfying conclusion. This analogy works because it plays on the shared cultural knowledge of Shyamalan’s storytelling style, making the comparison both understandable and humorous.

Lastly, the rule of three is a classic comedy technique that involves setting up a pattern with two items and then subverting expectations with a third, surprising element. This technique relies on the human tendency to look for patterns. For example, Amy Schumer’s jest, "I've gotten rich, famous, and humble," plays with the anticipatory pattern set by the first two achievements, making the incongruous third—a claim of being humble—unexpectedly funny.

By following these guidelines—exaggeration, specificity, analogy, and the rule of three—you can enhance the humor in your storytelling, making your narratives not only engaging but also memorably amusing. This approach doesn't just apply to professional comedians; it's accessible to anyone looking to inject a bit more laughter and lightness into their daily interactions.

Sparking joy at work: Master your stories and introduce humor-rich activities

Comedians like Amy Schumer and Hasan Minhaj spend extensive time crafting their jokes, honing each word and testing them before live audiences. For those of us in regular jobs, dedicating months to refine our humor isn’t feasible. Instead, we can utilize spontaneous humor in our interactions, particularly at work, to lighten moods and enhance connections.

A strong start is to know your repertoire of go-to stories—those narratives that always seem to resonate and bring smiles. Keeping these stories in your back pocket allows you to bring them out when the timing feels right. Additionally, staying observant and attuned to what's happening around you can aid in tailoring your humor to the present audience and setting. Seth Herzog, the comedian who warms up audiences for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, proposes asking yourself, "What's funny right now, to this group only?" This approach can quickly break the ice and get laughs flowing.

Beyond personal anecdotes, fostering a workspace where humor is welcome can further enhance creativity and camaraderie. A unique way to do this is through an exercise called "The Bad Idea Brainstorm." In this activity, instead of the usual serious strategy session, everyone is encouraged to come up with the most outlandish and silly ideas they can think of. This not only injects fun into the meeting but can surprisingly lead to genuinely innovative solutions. Humor has a unique ability to activate our brain's creativity centers, encouraging a kind of mental flexibility that can be surprisingly fruitful.

Whether you’re channeling humor through careful planning or in spontaneous bursts, always be mindful of the atmosphere and receptiveness of your audience. Creating moments of levity should feel natural and inclusive, encouraging a light-hearted and innovative work environment. Stay tuned as we dive deeper into recognizing the right moments for humor and ensuring it adds value rather than distraction.

Navigating humor in diverse environments

Humor is subjective and varies widely among different groups. What one person finds hilarious, another might see as offensive. This is why understanding and practicing responsible humor is crucial, especially in mixed and diverse settings like the workplace.

It begins with sensitivity, empathy, and a good sense of humor working together seamlessly. One helpful tactic is to always read the room. This isn't just about predicting whether people will laugh, but also considering how the joke will make them feel. Take cultural backgrounds and individual sensitivities into account. Could the joke be perceived as offensive?

A good starting point for gauging the appropriateness of your humor is to strip away the comedic elements and look at the underlying message. If the humor is removed, does the statement still hold up without offending or alienating anyone? For example, joking, "Don’t think of me as your boss; think of me as a friend who can fire you," might reveal an unsettling truth about power dynamics when the humor is peeled back.

Professor Anne Libera of Columbia College Chicago suggests considering the “spectrum of truth, pain, and distance” when crafting a joke. Is the subject matter too sensitive? Are you well-informed enough about the topic? Are you sufficiently close to the audience to make such a joke? If you’re hesitant about any of these questions, it might be wise to choose a different approach.

Handling humor isn’t always straightforward, and missteps are inevitable. However, there’s significant value in acknowledging and owning up to these mistakes. Showing vulnerability can help create an environment where others feel safe to express themselves and learn from their errors.

In practice, consider implementing something like Spanx CEO Sara Blakely’s “Oops Meetings,” where mistakes are shared openly. For instance, after persisting too long in a product category, Blakely used the song “Mr. Roboto” to lighten the mood about an overextended project during her meeting. This not only lightened the atmosphere but also underscored a culture of openness and resilience.

Ultimately, using humor responsibly in diverse settings requires a careful balance of knowing your audience, understanding the context, and being ready to pivot if things don’t go as planned. By embracing these practices, you can ensure that humor serves as a bridge rather than a barrier in your interactions.

Leverage humor to reveal your authentic self

Often, the key to effective communication—whether in emails, meetings, or personal interactions—is to be authentically human. Ditching a overly formal tone and embracing a natural conversational style can greatly enhance your ability to connect with others. As highlighted in "Humorr, Seriously," adopting a robotic, corporate demeanor in your communications can unwittingly lead you to behave in a similar manner.

For example, when drafting an email or initiating a conversation, think of it as an opportunity to forge a real connection. If you're aware that a colleague just welcomed a new baby, why not start your interaction by inquiring about the family? Or if a heatwave is affecting both you and your client, acknowledge it with humor in your sign-off. These personal touches not only make your communications more engaging but also help to build and strengthen relationships.

Your approach to humor doesn't have to be complex. Even a clever email signature or a personal anecdote can leave a lasting impression. Remember, people often form opinions quickly, so initial interactions are crucial in setting the tone for future relationships. If you know that a prospective business partner has a penchant for dad jokes, don't hesitate to share one. It shows you're attentive and willing to engage on a more personal level.

Your online presence is equally important. In today's digital age, your LinkedIn profile or Twitter bio can make or break first impressions before you even meet someone in person. Adding a touch of humor to your bio can make your profile stand out amidst a sea of generic entries. For instance, consider Steve, who described himself as an "executive manager" and "CEO of ASG MarTech". Yet, it was his humorous addition—claiming his podcast was "described by his wife and two daughters as ‘long, boring, and utterly devoid of substance’"—that caught the attention of a hiring manager. That little sprinkle of humor not only got him an interview but also played a pivotal role in securing the job.

This approach underscores an important lesson: blending professionalism with personal flair—demonstrating wit, confidence, and humility—can significantly enhance your appeal. Whether you're fostering existing relationships or forming new ones, letting your true personality shine through can indeed make all the difference.

Enhancing leadership through the power of humor

Once upon a time, leadership was synonymous with attributes like stoicism and solemnity — think of historical figures like Ernest Shackleton or Marco Polo, whose legendary adventures are etched in our collective memory. Yet, the archetype of the traditional, no-nonsense leader is evolving, especially in light of contemporary challenges ranging from economic crises to a general erosion of trust in authority.

A revealing 2019 study from Harvard Business School underscores this shift; it found that a staggering 58 percent of employees place more trust in a stranger than in their own boss. This lack of trust correlates directly with diminished workplace performance and morale. Nevertheless, there's a silver lining. Organizations that nurture a high-trust environment are not just surviving; they're thriving.

Enter the role of humor. By incorporating your unique sense of humor, you stand to not only enhance your leadership qualities but also forge stronger connections within your team. Humor isn't about exerting power over others; rather, it's about influencing how others perceive you and creating memorable interactions. As a leader, you set the emotional tone for your workspace. By comfortably engaging in light-hearted moments and appreciating the humor shared by your team, you contribute to a supportive and trusting work environment.

Balancing authority with approachability is key. Employing humor, particularly self-deprecating humor, can demystify the leadership role and make you more relatable. This approach fosters a workplace where employees feel valued, safe, and recognized — a far cry from traditional, rigid corporate cultures.

Humor has the unique ability to bond people, often more effectively than structured team-building activities. A shared laugh over an inside joke or a spontaneous, playful compliment can resonate more deeply than formal praise, simply because it feels genuine.

However, embracing humor in leadership also means acknowledging your boundaries. If you’re more reserved or prefer not to be the center of comedic attention, that's perfectly acceptable. In such cases, supporting a naturally charismatic team member who can embody this spirit might be another strategy to cultivate the desired workplace culture.

Ultimately, integrating humor into your leadership style isn’t just about making people laugh — it's about breaking down barriers, building trust, and creating a workplace where creativity and collaboration are the norms, not the exceptions.

The transformative power of humor in professional and personal life

The core insight from the discussions on integrating humor into the workplace is that humor is not merely about cracking jokes; it's a strategic tool for building trust, enhancing connectivity, and fostering a supportive environment. Through everyday humorous interactions and playful engagements, you can cultivate a workplace culture that encourages openness, creativity, and genuine connection.

Humor serves as a bridge, allowing colleagues to feel comfortable in expressing ideas, acknowledging mistakes, and pursuing growth. This atmosphere not only boosts morale but also inspires employees to take ownership of their roles and innovate without fear.

Moreover, the principles of humor extend beyond professional settings. They enrich personal interactions, helping you lead a more authentic, joyful, and fulfilling life. By recognizing and nurturing your comic sensibilities, you can turn ordinary experiences into moments of joy and deep connection with others.

In essence, embracing humor is about more than lightening the mood—it’s about creating a vibrant culture where professional and personal lives are lived fullest, with laughter and sincerity intertwined. Through this approach, you become not just a better leader or colleague, but also a more engaged, understanding, and radiant individual.

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