If You Tell - Book Summary

Unravel the layers of a chilling true crime narrative.

The name Michelle Knotek, commonly referred to as "Shelly," sends a shiver down the spine of those familiar with her gruesome story. Among the gruesome tales that dominate the true crime landscape, Shelly's story stands starkly different — it is her family members who fell prey to her heinous patterns of physical and psychological torment, including her own three daughters. The evil then amplified as she cunningly ensnared innocent victims in her web, where she slowly gnawed at their defenses, transforming them into submissive prisoners who relinquished any will to retaliate or escape.

How could someone like Knotek, a mother of three, living in the quiet confines of a small Washington state town, be convicted of two murders and implicated in a third? This paradox lies at the heart of the bewitching narrative we are about to delve into.

It's crucial to note — the descriptions that follow are graphically unsettling, encompassing domestic violence, child abuse, and detailed accounts of physical and psychological torture. Please exercise discretion as we delve deeper into this chilling narrative.

Witnessing the early warning signs in Shelly's childhood

In 1960, when Lara Stallings tied the knot with Les Watson, she was taken aback to discover that he was already a father to three children from a previous marriage. These were six-year-old Michelle — known as "Shelly" — her three-year-old brother, Chuck, and the youngest, Paul, then just an infant.

Despite her initial shock, Lara pulled herself together. She knew Les's former wife was an alcoholic and that the children needed stability, so she immersed herself in this unexpected role of a mother in Battle Ground, Washington. However, it didn't take long for Lara to discern something unsettling about Shelly. Initially, it was the peculiar fact that Shelly always answered for Chuck whenever he was asked a question. After settling into her new family, Shelly habitually told Lara that she loathed her — a statement she expressed daily.

As Shelly stepped into adolescence, her disturbing tendencies took on more alarming forms. She indulged in dangerous pranks like placing shards of glass in people's shoes. Rather than washing dishes, she would dispose of them in the trash, and her approach to babysitting involved locking her siblings in a room, barricading the door with furniture. Then, in 1969, at the edge of 15, Shelly confided in a school counselor that her father had raped her.

The accusation left Lara and Les reeling. As Shelly was temporarily placed in a juvenile detention center, they scoured her room in search of clues behind her erratic behavior. They discovered a magazine hidden beneath her mattress that smacked of sensationalism, with a headline reading, "I Was Raped By My Dad At 15!"

Medical examinations refuted Shelly's claim of being violated; she was declared "completely intact," implying she hadn't faced any form of sexual assault. Given this outcome, Shelly was to be released into her parents' custody under the condition of psychological counseling, as in the doctor's opinion, she was in dire need of "serious counseling."

However, professional intervention seemed to bear no fruit. Continuous family therapy sessions and counseling did not make a dent in Shelly's understanding of the gravity of her actions. The situation further deteriorated when her high school informed the parents that Shelly was no longer welcomed there — a sentiment echoed by other local schools, none of which were willing to admit her.

Navigating Shelly's tumultuous marriages and the emergence of a horrendous home.

Shelly was undeniably attractive, and her charm had an unsettling way of entrancing men. Her first dive into marital life was with Randy, a gentleman she met in Pennsylvania in 1973, shortly after her high school graduation. Shelly was staying with her aunt and uncle there, a move intended to offer her a shot at good education as no school in Washington was open to admitting her.

Returning to Battle Ground, she reached out to her former high school sweetheart, inviting — or rather luring — him to stay with her. At the time, Shelly was working as a nursing aide at one of her father's nursing homes, promising Randy a job as a maintenance man. Randy bought into the proposition. Things, however, took an unexpected turn upon arriving in Washington, he found himself swept into an anticipated marital pact with Shelly that he didn't see coming. Mesmerized and confused, he went along with it, and two years into their marriage, their first daughter Nikki was born.

The birth of Nikki instilled in everyone the hope that motherhood might arouse a newfound sense of responsibility in Shelly, possibly bringing stability into the picture. Unfortunately, the expectancy would prove fruitless. Shelly continued her pattern of neglect — not working, not cooking, not maintaining the house — paired with constant, harsh criticism toward Randy. Eventually, Randy found himself exiled from the home as Shelly managed to secure his paychecks for herself. Struggling with the stifling situation, Randy ultimately escaped back to Pennsylvania and sought a divorce.

In the ensuing period, Shelly and her daughter moved into an apartment in Vancouver, Washington. There, across the hallway, lived Danny Long, her next romantic interest. By the summer of 1978, the two were married, and two months on, their daughter Samantha ("Sami") came into the world. However, Shelly's second marital journey mirrored the chaos of her first, finally culminating in another divorce with Danny fleeing the scene.

Enter husband number three, Dave Knotek. Shelly promptly relocated her children to Dave's hometown, Raymond, Washington. Like most locals, Dave worked in the grueling logging industry, frequently keeping him away from home for extended hours. The newly-formed Knoteks moved into a house located at the end of a secluded driveway, offering them ample privacy. But it was within these beautiful walls that horrendous horrors unfolded.

Shelly's volatile disposition sky-rocketed in this isolation; her violent tendencies swarmed over Dave, transforming him within a frighteningly short span into a mere shadow of his former self. Dave bore the brunt of Shelly's relentless mockeries, scathing hits, and endless abuse. But unlike Shelly's former husbands, Dave persisted — he always returned. Fleeing from Shelly was not a tangible solution; if you tried to run, she was sure to hunt you down.

The nightmare behind closed doors: Nikki and Sami's harrowing ordeal.

By virtue of being the eldest, Nikki often found herself at the receiving end of her mother's wrath. Shelly's nocturnal nature lent a horrifying dimension to her abusive tendencies — often bursting into Nikki's room at odd hours, yanking her rudely out of sleep to punish her for an alleged misdoing.

These punishments were nothing short of terrifying, with Nikki enduring painful throws, chilling outdoor excursions in the middle of the night, and wicked beatings by whatever tool Shelly fancied — the electrical cord being her favored choice. The assault wouldn't cease until blood was drawn, as Nikki was incessantly berated with cruel insults, belittling her self-worth.

In Shelly's twisted dictionary, one particular punishment was known as "wallowing." This nighttime ordeal involved dragging Nikki out in the open, stripping her nude, and forcing her to crawl on the ground while Dave hosed her down. All this played out as Shelly's venomous voice would fill the night air, shrieking about the "lesson" she intended to teach her daughter. The horror of "wallowing" extended through all seasons, even on freezing winter nights when Nikki feared she would succumb to pneumonia. After these torments concluded, Sami would silently slip into Nikki's room, offering her soothing company, let their minds wade into imaginative ideas — such as reducing their mother to a size where she could no longer cause harm.

While Sami managed to foster friendships and popularity at school, Nikki was often plagued by a sense of solitude and exhaustion. Although Sami couldn't entirely evade the brutal beatings and whippings, she managed to remain in her mother's good books, unlike Nikki, who found herself confined to a closet with a mere bucket for weeks at a stretch.

A flicker of kindness from Shelly towards Nikki was hardly to be expected, yet it appeared unexpectedly when she pushed Nikki through a glass door. Seeing Nikki crushing amidst the shards and bleeding jolted in Shelly a dim glow of empathetic remorse, leading her to cradle Nikki in a warm bath, apologize for her actions, further treating her to a hair salon visit and a restaurant meal.

This whirlwind cycle defined their days — dreadful abuse, inching towards death, punctuated by fleeting moments of affections. Shelly had a knack for enforcing the path of least resistance on people; making them aware that retaliation would only exacerbate her wrath. However, her manipulation wasn't confined to their home alone. Nikki and Sami would never divulge the atrocities they endured to their grandmother. The most they could utter to hint at their torment was, "Mom is weird."

A shifting dynamic: The entrants of Shane and Kathy

The year 1988 witnessed a significant shift in the Knotek household. Shane Watson, Shelly’s nephew, was welcomed into the family. Shane was the offspring of Shelly's brother, Paul, whose life had skidded down the slippery slope of crime and drug abuse. At 13, the teen seemed to be on the brink of following his father's footsteps. In an attempt to alter his course, the Knoteks ushered him from the streets into their home.

Despite his grueling background, Shane exuded cheerfulness and wit and became well-loved by Nikki and Sami, truly turning into their brother. Initially, Shelly treated him with kindness — offering him new clothes and allotting a personal space for him in the basement. However, the kindness was short-lived, with Shane soon becoming Shelly's new target of abuse.

As with Nikki, Shane experienced the horrifying "wallowing." But Shelly escalated the torment for Shane, subjecting him to degrading punishments — binding his limbs with duct tape, taping him against walls, and applying Icy Hot ointment to his genitals, all the while reprimanding him ceaselessly. The ambiguity of his supposed misdeeds left everyone puzzled. Nikki felt a hint of sympathy for Shane but also breathed a sigh of relief as Shane’s arrival had mercifully diffused her mother's focus.

Come 1989, two new members graced the Knotek household — Shelly gave birth to Tori, her third daughter, and first child with Dave. Simultaneously, Kathy Loreno, Shelly's close friend, moved into their home — ostensibly to help with Tori after losing her job and falling out with her family. Kind-hearted Kathy quickly established a friendly rapport with Shelly's kids, especially charming Sami.

However, Kathy's entry into the house eerily mirrored Shane's — at first lured with a comfortable room and warm welcome, only to find herself thrust under Shelly’s radar soon after. Kathy bore the brunt of Shelly's merciless regime of humiliation, degradation, and horrifyingly unpredictable violent outbreaks.

The gravity of Kathy's situation was far from anyone's fathoming. Sleepless nights were a common ordeal for those around Shelly, but Kathy was frequently forced outdoors into the bone-chilling cold with petty food rations. Add to this the atrocious beatings and mental torment, she sunk into a desperate state of physical decline, resulting even in tooth loss. All this while, Shelly continued to justify her monstrous behavior as necessary discipline intended for their wellbeing. Yet, as Kathy's health deteriorated alarmingly, concern began gnawing at Dave.

Witnessing Kathy's stark decline, Dave sensed a crisis. Though barely able to walk, Shelly placated Dave, assuring him of having things under control. Regrettably, she didn't. One dramatic day, Dave returned home to an unthinkable sight — Kathy lay lifeless on the bathroom floor. She was swathed in bandages, having succumbed to her severe wounds from Shelly’s attacks. It appeared she choked on her own vomit, having been unable to even turn her feeble body.

Amid the gruesome aftermath, Shelly ushered her three daughters to a hotel for the night, while Dave and Shane grimly undertook to dispose of Kathy's body, burning it in a backyard firepit along with old tires. The remaining bones and ashes were later scattered in the ocean. This horrifying event marked a dreadful turning point in their lives, but paradoxically, not much seemed to alter in the grotesque dance of their day-to-day life.

A sinister exodus: When Shane and Kathy disappeared

The Knotek narrative took a grim turn around 1994. Shelly, with her knack for conjuring fictitious tales, cooked up a story about Kathy — supposedly, she had run off with a truck driver named Rocky. Her strategy for embedding this narrative was straightforward, imprinting the story into the minds of Shane and her daughters, Nikki and Sami, and concocting a cover for her horrific deed. Shane and Nikki realized the chilling reality, but Sami clung to her mother's tall tale, as losing Kathy was unbearable.

Despite the coerced pledges of loyalty to Shelly's version, her constant paranoia reared its ugly head — particularly with Shane. Shelly's whispers filled Dave's ears with distrust. Initially hesitant towards her insinuations, Dave would, unfortunately, fall prey to Shelly's manipulations, having been long habituated to her tyranny.

Next, Shane disappeared, leaving the family in a pool of confusion. In the wind of uncertainties, Shelly crafted another narrative — Shane had landed a lucrative job on a fishing boat in Alaska. His disappearance hit Nikki harder than anyone else. She had lost both her partners in sufferingback to back — Kathy and Shane — and found herself under her mother's spotlight yet again.

However, Nikki had come of age. A high school graduate of 1993, she had metamorphosed into a defiant warrior, unwilling to cower under Shelly's onslaught. One day, amid a violent exchange, Nikki decided to fight back — knocking Shelly down in her self-defense. A heated exchange flavored with expletives marked Nikki's escape into the woods.

Later, Nikki transitioned to her Aunt Trish's home before eventually finding a shelter with her grandmother Laura — the shift that led Nikki to taste the fruit of freedom. Her departure accelerated Sami's plans to break the shackles once she graduated high school, with Shelly's assistance. But the aftermath left Tori, the youngest of the siblings, in a vulnerable spot.

The Knotek family then welcomed Ron Woodworth. Like Kathy, he was a local friend of Shelly's. Being gay, jobless, and estranged from his family, he saw Shelly's invitation to stay as an act of kindness. But Shelly's sinister playbook was already set in motion, isolating Ron, subjecting him to an onslaught of physical brutality, and reducing him to a subservient entity.

Gradually, Ron's health took a hit. The brute force stripped him of his vitality, his injuries — aggravated by jumping from the roof onto gravel repeatedly — now life-threatening. One day, amidst a heatwave, Shelly called Dave home urgently on the pretext of a crisis — Ron had stopped breathing while sitting on their porch. Because of a fire ban due to the heatwave, Ron's mortal remains found a resting place in a shallow backyard grave, dug by Dave.

Nikki, having tasted freedom, decided to break the silence around Shelly's atrocities. She divulged everything to her grandmother and eventually the police—but to no avail. The police's half-hearted inquiries were brushed off by Shelly. Nonetheless, the investigation continued inconclusively.

As Tori visited Sami over a weekend, unbeknownst to them, Shelly and Dave were disposing of Ron's remains. The reunion revealed to the sisters — Tori was subjected to the same abuse and that Ron was likely dead. Nikki and Sami turned to the police yet again, but this time the officials took them seriously.

When the police summoned Dave for questioning, he seemed almost eager to tell his tale. His confession, laying bare the horrific reality — he had disposed of Kathy's and Ron's bodies, and shocking everyone, revealed Shane's untimely death, whose remains too had been scattered in the ocean. The house of horrors that Dave depicted opened a Pandora's box of grim revelations, landing the couple on the news.

Dave pleaded guilty to second-degree murder of Shane, unlawful disposal of human remains, and interfering in legal proceedings in February 2004, landing him behind bars for 15 years. Shelly adopted a more convoluted path, leveraging the Alford plea — simultaneously pleading guilty but asserting innocence — to avert a trial. She received a prison sentence of over 22 years. Shelly Knotek walked out a free woman in 2022, despite her daughters' fears that she could return to her sadistic ways.

Summing it up

From a tender age, Michelle "Shelly" Knotek seemed to possess an unsettling propensity for aggression and dominance. This concerning trait amplified once she had a family of her own, branching out into terrifying forms of physical and psychological torment. Seclusion in a remote house seemed to fuel her appetite for cruelty, pulling her family and friends into a whirlwind of brutality.

Her daughters endured a barrage of torture, meted out in painful and humiliating forms, as did her nephew Shane. Shane's death shared an ominous link with that of Shelly's friend Kathy, who unfortunately also became a casualty of Shelly's relentless torture, eventually leading to her tragic demise.

As her daughters sought refuge and started moving out, another person entered the periphery of Shelly's sinister narrative — Ron Woodworth, an unsuspecting friend, who also met a grisly fate under the weight of Shelly's abuse. Finally, the law caught up with the Knoteks, leading to the arrest of Shelly and her husband Dave.