Psycho-Cybernetics - Book Summary

Ready to break free from your past self?

How do you perceive yourself? Perhaps you think you're perennially late, fit into the 'type-A' mold, or you believe your writing skills are wanting? But have you ever questioned the origin of these beliefs? Maybe it's a critical teacher, a group of friends that have branded you a certain way, or it could be self-inflicted labels.

Everyone has their own self-perception, some aspects of which empower us, while others hold us back and prevent us from evolving. We construct narratives to comprehend our place in the world. Yet, often, we cast ourselves in a negative light, without considering how damaging this self-defeating story can be. It's high time to pick up your metaphorical editor's pen and start rewriting.

In this chapter, we will unravel

how hypnosis influences us all;

how mental rehearsal can be just as potent as the real practice; and

why you might not be as bad at maths as you've come to believe.

The reflection we cast shapes our actions.

Everyone carries a self-portrait — a psychological sketch — defining their personal identity. It is a mosaic of notions about oneself, drawn from past experiences, triumphs, and failures.

These impressions are pivotal — we tend to behave in alignment with who we think we are. If you conceive yourself as a failure, you're likely to fail. However, if you identify as successful, you're inclined to pave your way to success.

But, what kindles these life-shaping self-images?

Typically, they are borne out of a rational cause. For instance, an individual might label themselves a failure due to a poor academic year that coincided with her parents' divorce. While some people can swiftly bounce back from such a setback and restore their academic standing, others might fall into a self-deprecating belief that they're destined to underperform. Thus, the development of a self-image, whether positive or negative, heavily influences a person's life journey.

Let's consider another instance: The author knew someone who was profoundly troubled by his unconventional appearance. He believed his protruding ears and large nose were a subject of ridicule. However, it wasn't his physical appearance that attracted scorn, but his detrimental self-image that left him vulnerable and unhappy. This led to a vicious cycle: his assumption that others were derisive led him to retort with hostility. But, this cycle can be broken by reframing the negative self-image.

In the following section, we'll delve deeper into these feedback loops.

Overcome the hypnotic sway of self-defeating beliefs with the aid of rational thinking.

You might visualize hypnosis as a spectacle in a quirky carnival show. Yet, all of us are under some form of hypnosis.

After all, the efficacy of hypnosis lies in the strength of belief, and we already understand how potent beliefs can be. Let's take an example from the author's life — his acquaintance, Dr. Alfred Adler, struggled with maths at school, leading his teacher to conclude that he lacked a knack for it.

Adler internalized this as a truth, and his grades validated his teacher's assumption. However, one day, he suddenly grasped a complicated mathematical problem. After demonstrating the solution to his teacher, he realized that he wasn't poor at maths after all. His newfound confidence boosted his performance.

So, what shifted?

Adler had been under the hypnotic influence of a misguided belief about himself. This phenomenon is consistent with many underachieving students, as studies suggest.

People are hypnotized by both affirmative and negative beliefs. Therefore, the objective is to dismantle the preconceived notions that restrict us. Achieving this involves deploying rational thinking.

Your self-limiting beliefs aren't grounded in facts or experiences, but in the interpretations you glean from them. Hence, rational thinking — which is logical and mindful — can help steer your unconscious mind.

To commence uprooting the beliefs that fuel your feelings of inadequacy, start by asking 'why?'. This approach aids in dispelling irrational and fallacious judgments like, "I failed yesterday; therefore I'm doomed to fail today." Instead, faced with such a thought, you'll be able to recognize that each day brings a fresh chance to learn and grow from past experiences.

Inside us, lies a success mechanism powered by imagination.

While it's common to draw parallels between the human body and a machine, the comparison is not entirely off the mark. Although we aren't machines, each of us harbors an inner mechanism that can be activated when required.

The author refers to this as 'psycho-cybernetics', a conceptualization of the human brain and nervous system akin to a servo-mechanism, or an automatic response that uses negative feedback to navigate its course. This model aligns with the principles of 'cybernetics', the study of automated control systems in machines.

Through psycho-cybernetics, we can gain valuable insights into why and how humans behave the way they do. A key insight here is that humans possess an innate success mechanism.

Consider an infant attempting to grab a rattle. Lacking prior experiences, the baby must wave its hand back and forth until it successfully touches the object. Upon successfully seizing the toy — achieving a 'successful response' — the infant stores the memory for future reference. Gradually, the child can enhance its gripping ability, storing successful experiences while discarding the unsuccessful ones.

This success mechanism is similarly at work as we strive towards our objectives. Naturally, activating this mechanism is advantageous, and the first step to doing so is engaging our imagination.

The human nervous system can't distinguish between real experiences and those we merely imagine. Consequently, it reacts based on our beliefs or what we imagine to be true.

A study by Dr. Theodore Xenophon Barber at American University in Washington during the 1950s found that subjects under hypnosis were able to undergo surgery without anesthesia after being persuaded that they wouldn't feel pain.

Likewise, Artur Schnabel, a renowned concert pianist, seldom practiced on a real piano. He mostly honed his skills mentally. Similar examples can be seen in a darts player and a golfer who amplified their skills through mental practice.

Fueling creativity and cultivating happiness are within our grasp.

Creative endeavors often confront hurdles, be it a spell of writer's block or a stalemated brainstorming session. Seasoned creatives understand that when such an impasse arises, the only recourse is to relax and patiently await the return of inspiration.

This approach aligns perfectly with our intrinsic creative machinery. It springs to life only when we exhibit interest in solving a particular conundrum, consciously ruminate over the predicament, and amass all pertinent data.

After adequately wrestling with the problem, we reach a juncture where additional cogitation only hampers our progress. That's when our ingrained creative instinct comes into play. Consequently, our best ideas often surface when we aren't actively laboring.

Consider the eminent inventor, Thomas Edison. Whenever he grappled with an unsolvable issue, he would resort to a brief nap. Quite frequently, these short reprieves offered him the solution he had been seeking.

Therefore, despite creativity's unpredictable nature, we can rekindle it by modifying our actions and thoughts. The same principle applies to happiness. Here's how:

Many individuals perceive happiness as a future state, believing they will attain it once they're married or land a better job. However, happiness needs to be practiced in the here and now. Recognizing that happiness is a completely internal sentiment — a byproduct of our thoughts and the attitudes we associate with them — is crucial.

If we get upset when another driver honks at us, it's because we choose to react with irritation and frustration, draining our happiness. Cultivating a habit of happiness can be achieved by focusing on the positives and relinquishing negative influences.

Edison exemplifies this mindset brilliantly. Following the loss of his multi-million-dollar laboratory in a fire, with no insurance to claim, he decided against succumbing to unhappiness. Instead, he began reconstructing his lab the very next day.

Seven ingredients craft a triumphant personality.

Success isn't something you merely stumble upon, nor is failure something you inadvertently 'land up in.' Rather, both success and failure are outcomes of forces deeply rooted in your personality.

Each is shaped by a unique set of elements. Let's start with SUCCESS, an acronym that highlights the fundamental constituents of a triumphant personality.

The first attribute is a Sense of direction. Humans are goal-oriented creatures by nature. Similar to a mountain climber, you need a target to strive for. Upon reaching the metaphorical summit, the next step is to set sights on the following peak.

Next in line is Understanding. Most failures spring from misunderstandings, as individuals often color sensory perceptions with fear, anxiety, or desire. For instance, upon seeing two colleagues engaged in a conversation that abruptly ends as you pass by, you might assume they were gossiping about you — a probability that's quite unlikely. This illustrates how emotions can warp your perceptions.

The third vital trait for success is Courage. Making dreams come true requires the guts to act on your convictions, necessitating calculated risk-taking. If you postpone action until you're completely sure, you'll achieve nothing.

The fourth feature is Charity, as successful individuals are sensitive to the troubles, needs, dignity, and respect of everyone around them.

Fifth comes Esteem, for a belief of 'I can't do it' is a roadblock to progress. Therefore, low self-esteem isn't a quality to be cherished but a hurdle to your success.

Sixth is Self-confidence, a feeling that builds upon previous successes. Hence, it's crucial to reminisce about past victories and discard memories of failures that pose a threat to your confidence.

Lastly, Self-acceptance is the final cornerstone of success. Without accepting yourself, flaws, weaknesses and all, achieving your desires will always remain out of reach.

These seven ingredients form the recipe for a victorious personality. Stay tuned to learn about the seven traits that can lead a person to fail.

Recognizing the triggers of failure paves the way to success.

The elements that induce failure can be conveniently summarized using the acronym FAILURE itself.

Starting off with Frustration, which manifests when you feel incapable of achieving a significant goal. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, as perceiving yourself as inadequate makes you more prone to failure.

Next is Aggressiveness. Although this energetic drive can aid in achieving goals, in individuals with a tendency to fail, this aggression is channeled into self-destructive behaviors like worry and rudeness, instead of constructive endeavors.

Third in line is Insecurity, or the sentiment of not living up to expectations. Intriguingly, insecurity is more often spawned not by an actual deficiency in skills, but by an illusory yardstick of evaluation. Consequently, if you measure yourself against an imaginary, possibly unachievable ideal, attaining self-assurance becomes a distant dream.

Fourthly, Loneliness, the feeling of estrangement from others. Lonely individuals sever themselves from paths leading to wholesome social interactions, succumb to inaction, and struggle to achieve their potential.

The fifth trait of failure is Uncertainty or the habit of evading mistakes by never committing to decisions. This amounts to a failure to act and attain objectives, predicated on the mistaken belief that action should be withheld until success is guaranteed. With no certain route visible, decision-making is thwarted, shielding you from failure — and, ironically, success.

Sixth is Resentment, a defensive mechanism to make personal failures more palatable by blaming them on unjust treatment.

Finally, Emptiness, which is a symptom of failure itself. This emotion arises from the perception that life lacks excitement and none of the pursuits are worth striving for.

If you identify any or all of these traits in yourself, it signals the need for a transformation. Stay tuned to learn exactly how to accomplish it.

Nurture your emotions and set free your authentic personality.

When you suffer a physical wound, your body generates a scar to shield the damaged region. Scar tissue is nature's way of thwarting further injuries to the same spot.

In a similar manner, individuals tend to develop emotional scars to safeguard wounded feelings. However, these emotional scars don't merely serve as a defense against the person who inflicted the initial hurt; they also isolate you from everyone else. Essentially, they erect an emotional barrier that blocks friends and adversaries alike.

Nevertheless, you can surmount this by treating yourself to an emotional makeover. Think of this process as a surgery for your emotions, with forgiveness as your key instrument, instead of a scalpel.

Much like a precision surgical tool, true forgiveness can excise old grievances, paving the way for healing. But to genuinely forgive, it's necessary to let go of the feeling of being wronged and even forget the act of forgiving itself.

Once you've shed your emotional scars, you can unleash your authentic personality, which emanates from within. Many individuals grapple with suppressed personalities that curtail their creativity and hinder the expression of their true selves.

Take stuttering as an example, which often stems from inhibition. This speech disorder arises from an overbearing inclination to self-regulate, which engenders excessive negative feedback.

It's a clear demonstration of how fixation on others' opinions and expectations can lead to inhibition.

To overcome this crippling sensation, practicing disinhibition becomes indispensable. Interestingly, though the popular adage advises to 'think before you speak,' in this case, the reverse is more beneficial. By speaking before you give thought, you can dispel self-conscious thoughts like 'should I have done that?' This step is the initial stride on your journey to fully unleashing your creative personality.

Discover the two straightforward techniques to attain tranquility in a chaotic world.

Imagine you're at home, engrossed in a captivating book. Suddenly, your phone begins to ring, and you instantly leap out of your comfortable couch, scampering to pick up the call.

In a split second, your peaceful mindset transformed into a state of agitation. It's hard to fault you for reacting that way; after all, the ringtone is a cue you've been conditioned to respond to. However, the reality is, you're not obliged to answer the call; you could just as well disregard it.

This brings us to the first strategy for achieving tranquility: start sidestepping the various 'bells' in your surroundings. This term refers to all the distractive stimuli in your environment, to which you respond out of sheer habit.

For example, cautionary advice from parents often instills a fear of strangers in children. While this might be a sensible strategy for youngsters, it often lingers into adulthood, making many individuals uneasy around unknown people.

Strangers have become 'bells' that trigger a learned response of fear and avoidance.

Nonetheless, these conditioned reactions can be conquered by practicing relaxation instead. Simply put, if you wish, you can learn to let the 'bell' ring.

A gentle way to incorporate this practice is to postpone your response, perhaps by counting to three before answering the phone. Gradually, you can extend the delay until eventually, you become adept at ignoring the 'bell.'

Another approach to attain tranquility is to create a serene mental haven where you can escape from the world. You can adorn it with whatever soothes you - perhaps a stunning natural vista or your favorite artwork. Then, whenever you find a few spare moments - be it between meetings or during a bus ride - seek solace in your tranquil haven and calm your mind.

Final recap

The core takeaway from this book:

Though we aren't machines, our thought processes bear a striking resemblance to mechanized operations. Employing principles of cybernetics to comprehend this mechanized thinking enables us to combat negative self-perceptions, enrich our self-image, and embark on a journey towards a successful, fulfilling life.