This Is How We Do It - Book Summary

Explore new perspectives for personal growth with Kevin Hart

In today's world, where division and negativity often take the front seat, finding a pathway to personal growth and positivity seems more challenging than ever. But what if you could transform your outlook and embrace a journey toward becoming your best self? In his book "This Is How We Do It", entertainment powerhouse Kevin Hart steps out of the spotlight and into the role of a mentor, providing you with an arsenal of tools for substantial personal change.

Kevin Hart combines the wit and wisdom he's known for with deep life lessons, offering a fresh approach to personal development. The book details fifteen core tools for change — each one crafted from Hart's own experiences and setbacks, giving you a blueprint for overcoming obstacles with a smile.

In this adapted summary, we'll zero in on a handful of these tools. By diving deeper into Hart's transformative strategies, we'll explore how adopting a new mindset can shift your life's trajectory towards sustained positivity and growth. Whether it's rewriting the story you tell yourself or finding humor in the face of adversity, Hart's guidance is both pragmatic and uplifting.

Are you ready to reshape your life with a dose of Kevin Hart's characteristic humor and hard-earned wisdom? Let's embark on this transformative journey together and discover how you can start living your best life today.

Embrace the power of positive thinking

It might sound too good to be true, but implementing a positive mindset can theoretically unlock doors you never even noticed were there. Kevin Hart swears by this transformative approach, emphasizing that positivity isn't just a feel-good motto; it's a practical tool for navigating life's complexities.

The challenge with positivity, as Hart outlines, is that it's often easier said than done, especially in our digital era where negativity can seem omnipresent. Just a quick scroll through any social media platform can sometimes feel like a deep dive into a sea of cynicism and criticism. According to Hart, this constant barrage not only impacts our self-esteem but also activates our brain's ancient fear responses — like those that ping at the fear of social rejection.

This incessant negativity can lead to two things: either a crippling fear of participating altogether or a defensive life where every interaction is a potential battle. For many, the default strategy becomes avoidance — keeping a low profile to steer clear of criticism. However, Hart advises against this retreat. Avoiding negativity might reduce stress temporarily, but it ultimately leads to a stunted, unfulfilled life, devoid of risks and real reward.

The solution isn’t to hide from negativity but to confront and counteract it with positivity. Hart underscores that adopting a positive outlook allows you to navigate through life's inevitable challenges without being bogged down. While it doesn’t mean ignoring the hardships or pretending problems don’t exist, it involves a conscious choice to focus on possibilities rather than obstacles.

This mindset isn't about being naively optimistic but about being strategically resilient. Embracing positivity means you recognize the challenges but choose to see them as hurdles rather than blockades. It's about finding the silver lining even when the cloud seems overwhelmingly dark.

Hart’s personal journey is a testament to the power of positivity. Despite a rocky start in a tough neighborhood, his relentless optimism and resilience propelled him beyond his circumstances to achieve success as a globally recognized actor, author, and entrepreneur. His story is a vivid illustration of how maintaining a positive outlook isn’t just about feeling better but about thriving despite the odds.

It's important, Hart remarks, not to equate a positive attitude with perpetual cheerfulness. It's less about smiling through pain and more about acknowledging that pain and choosing to move forward anyway. This key takeaway from Hart - to cultivate positivity as a defense mechanism against life’s chaos - is not just inspiring, it's life-changing. Join Hart in choosing a life of action, resilience, and progress, powered by the ultimate tool: a positive mindset.

Master the art of reliability in your commitments

Think about the last time someone relied on you to be somewhere on time or to complete a task — did you follow through as promised? Your answer to this question reveals an essential trait about yourself: reliability. If you're already someone who can be depended on, you're on the right track. However, if you find yourself struggling with keeping commitments, Kevin Hart has some insights that might just be the guidance you need.

In today’s fast-paced and often unpredictable environment, keeping your word and being punctual can seem like daunting tasks. Reliability isn't just about showing up on time; it's about understanding and respecting your limitations and being honest about what you can handle. It’s about making a commitment you can stick to and recognizing when to say no.

Many people overcommit because they fear disappointing others. This tendency can lead you to lose your identity and personal boundaries. But here’s the thing that Hart emphasizes: being straightforward about your capabilities doesn't make you unreliable. Instead, it shows that you value your time and respect others' time as well.

For Hart, punctuality is a non-negotiable priority. He knows that arriving on time, whether on a movie set or at a business meeting, sets the tone for how he is perceived and how seriously he is taken. It’s a sign of respect — not only for others' time but also for the work at hand. He famously maintains, "If you respect others’ time, they will respect yours," illustrating the reciprocal nature of trust and respect in any relationship.

This approach to commitments extends beyond personal benefits. It influences how you are perceived professionally and personally. Being reliable might seem simple, but it's a powerful way to demonstrate your integrity and professionalism. When you show up on time and meet your commitments, you send out a positive message about your character. People notice this, and it builds a foundation of trust that is crucial in both personal and professional relationships.

Can the people in your life count on you? Reflect on this question as you consider how mastering the art of reliability could transform your relationships and create new opportunities. Remember, each moment you choose to be reliable, you're not only affirming your respect for others but also enhancing how the world views and interacts with you.

Step up and take the reins of your life

Up until now, the tools we've discussed might have seemed like familiar territory in the realm of self-help. But Kevin Hart proposes a more unique and proactive approach: "cowboying up." This concept isn’t just about taking responsibility for your actions and words; it's a call to own every single aspect of your life.

Many people struggle with this concept because it forces them to confront some uncomfortable truths about themselves. It's far easier to dodge responsibility than to acknowledge our flaws and failures. However, the reality is, everyone makes mistakes. The difference lies in how we handle these slip-ups.

"Cowboying up" means facing these errors head-on and understanding that the discomfort of acknowledging our faults is only temporary. On the other side of that discomfort is growth and a sense of freedom that comes from rectifying our mistakes. This step — owning up — is what transforms a simple mistake into a stepping stone for personal development.

This strategy also requires a shift in perspective about conflicts. It's easy to play the victim in arguments, to see things purely from our point of view. However, true ownership involves recognizing our role in every issue. Hart shares from his own experiences, particularly in times of conflict; rather than immediately reacting, he now takes a moment to reflect. He asks himself critical questions such as, "What was my part in this?" and "How can I prevent this from happening again?" This reflective approach doesn't just resolve conflicts; it turns them into opportunities for self-improvement.

Hart’s personal life provides a powerful example of taking ownership. When he was publicly caught cheating, instead of hiding from the scandal, he chose to confront it openly. He addressed his mistake, accepted the consequences, and committed to learning from it. By doing so, he set a powerful example not just for public figures, but for anyone facing personal or professional setbacks.

The core message Hart drives home is that you are the captain of your ship. Believing that someone else is responsible for your happiness or success is a mistake. If you're waiting for someone else to change your life, you might wait forever. Instead, embrace the cowboy spirit: saddle up, steer your life in the direction you want it to go, and own every bit of the journey. This proactive stance is not just about facing life’s challenges; it’s about conquering them.

Embrace the comforting presence of a teddy bear

After discussing the rugged perseverance of cowboys, let’s switch gears and explore the gentler side of things with teddy bears. At first glance, teddy bears might seem like an unlikely source of life wisdom. However, think about their role in a child's life: they provide comfort, security, and a sense of peace. Kevin Hart describes this as "teddy bearing" — embodying the attributes of a teddy bear to positively impact those around us.

The art of "teddy bearing" is about being approachable, kind, and providing a comforting presence. In a world where chaos often reigns, offering warmth and positivity not only uplifts others but also enhances your own life, nurturing a more harmonious environment.

However, there’s an important distinction to be made here: striving to be likable is different from seeking others' approval. Chasing after universal approval is a futile effort; it's impossible to please everyone, and not everyone will resonate with your personality or values. And that’s perfectly okay. Embracing this truth frees you from the exhausting pursuit of others' acceptance and allows you to focus on genuine self-expression.

Being likable should stem from a place of self-love and self-respect — it’s about being secure in who you are and letting that confidence radiate outward. This internal foundation makes you resilient against negativity and less dependent on external validation.

So, take a page out of Kevin Hart’s book and channel your inner teddy bear. Being a source of positive energy is increasingly rare, and it naturally attracts people who appreciate and value your genuine nature. Those who stick with you will be the ones who truly matter. By focusing on being a comforting and positive presence, you not only enrich your life but also set the stage for more meaningful and supportive relationships.

Embrace dissatisfaction as a catalyst for growth

It might sound counterintuitive, especially after advocating for a positive and comforting outlook, but Kevin Hart advises nurturing a certain level of dissatisfaction. This concept, while seemingly paradoxical, is crucial for continuous personal growth and development.

Dissatisfaction, according to Hart, doesn't mean wallowing in misery or perpetually undervaluing your achievements. Instead, it's about recognizing that no matter how good things are, there's always potential to push a little further and improve. It’s that gentle nudge saying, "This is great, but what’s next?" This perspective keeps you hungry for progress and prevents complacency from setting in.

In a world that's constantly evolving, the moment you stop growing, you start declining. That’s a natural law — either you grow, or you decay. Recognizing this, Hart emphasizes the importance of always striving for better, of being eternally restless in a constructive way.

For instance, Hart talks about a pivotal moment in his career when he turned down a movie role that many would have jumped at. While the role would have been a safe choice, it didn’t align with his current aspirations or the challenges he sought. Instead, he chose to star in "The Upside," a film that required him to tackle a dramatic role, a departure from his comedic comfort zone. This decision was propelled by his dissatisfaction with the status quo and his desire for growth. Consequentially, the film was not only a success but also expanded Hart’s acting range and introduced him to new collaborative opportunities.

Hart's approach redefines dissatisfaction, transforming it from a negative state into a powerful motivator. It reminds us that being satisfied with the status quo can lead to stagnation. Dissatisfaction, on the other hand, is the driving force that keeps us moving forward, exploring new avenues, and embracing life fully. It positions us on the brink of growth, where true potential is realized and life becomes a thrilling journey of continual self-discovery and achievement. Embracing this mindset ensures that we remain active participants in our life’s narrative, always eager to see what each new chapter holds.

Maintain humility on your path to success

Imagine you’ve climbed the steep slope of success, using all the tools we’ve discussed—from embracing a positive mindset to transforming dissatisfaction into a springboard for growth. You might wonder, does the journey end there? Kevin Hart’s response is a resounding no.

One of the most crucial yet often overlooked aspects of sustained success is humility. As we achieve our goals, humility becomes the anchor that keeps us true to ourselves and our roots. Without it, it’s easy to get lost in the allure of fame and fortune. Hart, with his extensive experience in the spotlight of the entertainment industry, has witnessed many fall into this trap. Colleagues demanding unreasonable favors, or changing their behavior because their environment promotes it, are not uncommon stories.

Even Hart himself acknowledges the temptation of wanting to be the center of attention, to walk into a room and be recognized by everyone. However, he also realizes that these moments, while flattering, are fleeting and do not reflect his true self. Learning from these experiences, he emphasizes the importance of stepping back and evaluating who he wants to be and how he wants to be remembered.

It’s crucial to understand that real respect and admiration come from how you carry yourself, not from the external validation of others. Humility keeps you grounded, reminds you where you came from, and connects you with others on a more genuine level. It’s about being aware that, regardless of success, we are all fundamentally equal—no one is inherently better or worse.

Practicing humility involves recognizing that your path is unique, as is everyone else’s. There’s no need for conflict or comparison because each journey has its value and significance. By remaining humble, you not only preserve your character but also contribute positively to the lives of those around you.

In essence, humility isn’t just a tool for personal development; it’s a way of life that enriches your interactions and ensures that your achievements are as fulfilling personally as they are publicly. It’s about lifting others as you rise, rather than stepping over them on your way to the top.

Embrace Kevin Hart's toolkit for a better life

Kevin Hart's toolkit for living isn't just a set of instructions you pull out occasionally when things get tough—these tools are designed for everyday use, to reshape the way you think, act, and interact with the world. By embracing these principles, you lay a strong and durable foundation for not only personal success but also for enriching the lives of those around you.

At the heart of this transformative approach is the goal of evolving into the best version of yourself and inspiring the same in others. Whether it’s being the dependable person that others can rely on, taking full ownership of your life like a true cowboy, or providing comfort and reassurance like a teddy bear, each tool has a unique role in fostering personal growth and enhancing relationships.

As you progress and achieve your objectives, maintaining a sense of dissatisfaction ensures continuous personal evolution while humility keeps you connected and grounded. Adding to this, a positive outlook equips you to handle life’s challenges with grace and resilience.

In a world that can often seem fraught with adversity, each of us holds the potential to contribute positively and create small ripples that lead to significant change. By adopting and applying Hart’s life tools, you take proactive steps towards building a brighter, more fulfilling future—one thoughtful action at a time.