Untrue - Book Summary

Debunking the Myth: Uncovering the Social Construct of Female Monogamy

There's a pervasive myth that's woven into the very fabric of our society — that women are the paragons of monogamy, inherently designed for sexual modesty and faithfulness. Time and again, women are boxed into a narrative that praises chastity and reprimands sexual liberation. If you ever thought that women's monogamous tendencies are a biologically inscribed destiny, prepare to have that belief turned on its head.

Let's pull back the curtain on the societal stage that has long cast women in roles that don't quite fit the bill of their inherent nature. We'll journey through time and biology to discover that the monogamous woman, long upheld as a cultural ideal, is a character that has been crafted by society, not by nature's script. Digging into the annals of our ancestors and the natural world, it becomes clear that women, much like their primate cousins, have an appetite for sexual variety that contradicts the monogamous mold society has shaped for them.

Throughout this narrative — marked by historical twists and biological turns — you'll discover insights that challenge the status quo. We'll explore intriguing research involving monkeys given newfound freedoms, examine the correlation between physical attributes and mating patterns, and unveil how an agricultural tool inadvertently reinforced gender roles and reshaped women's sexual destinies.

As we disentangle fact from long-held fiction, you will unravel a truth: monogamy in women is more a product of nurture rather than nature. So, sit back and prepare to peel back the layers of a societal facade that's about to be undone.

The Truth Behind Female Fidelity: A Tale of Misunderstood Desires

It's a scenario we've all witnessed — a man strays from his romantic partnership, and the murmurs begin: "Well, you know, men will be men." It's a tired narrative that paints men as naturally predisposed to infidelity. And women? They're expected to be the picture of devotion, their halo of monogamy untarnished. That brings us to a surprising revelation: women are not innately more monogamous than men, and they are just as prone to cheat.

Let's ponder this for a moment. If women are truly wired for fidelity, wouldn't we expect their sexual desire to remain consistently high, or even increase, within a committed relationship? The reality, however, defies this expectation. Research consistently shows that within long-term relationships, women's sexual drive often wanes significantly more than men's. A striking survey published in the British Medical Journal in 2017 unveiled that women, especially those sharing a home with their partners or in relationships beyond a year, were twice as likely to experience a downturn in sexual interest compared to men.

Furthermore, when it comes to acting on these diminished desires, studies point out that women are stepping out on their relationships nearly as frequently as men. The University of Cambridge's 1993 research unearthed that the infidelity numbers between the genders were nearly identical. Fast forward to a survey by The Kinsey Institute in the early 2010s, and the findings echo a similar tune.

Yet, there's another layer to this misconception: the belief that when women cheat, they're seeking emotional intimacy, not sexual satisfaction. This narrative, too, crumbles upon closer examination. Take, for example, findings from women using the notorious website Ashley Madison, aimed at married or otherwise committed individuals looking to have an affair. Sociologist Dr. Alicia Walker's interviews with female users revealed a surprising truth — these women were on the hunt for sexual encounters, not emotional entanglements. Their primary relationships were fulfilling in every aspect except for one — the bedroom.

This notion challenges the long-standing views of figures like Charles Darwin and William Acton, who maintained that women's sexual appetites were inherently subdued, asserting that those with stronger desires were anomalies. However, the human anatomy itself tells a different story — one of inherent sexual parity between genders, which we'll delve further into later on. This revelation may startle those who hold onto outdated ideologies, but the evolving dialogue underscores an important message: women's capacity for sexual desire and infidelity is far more comparable to men's than society has historically led us to believe.

Unveiling Nature's Design: The Female Body's Blueprint for Multiple Partners

Let's engage in a thought experiment. Picture yourself exploring the latest gadgets and coming across a smartphone equipped with a state-of-the-art camera, boasting features that would make any tech enthusiast's heart race. But then, you encounter something baffling: the salesperson tells you that despite all the camera's bells and whistles, the phone isn't really intended for photography. Odd, right?

This scenario sheds light on a similar contradiction in human anatomy, particularly when it comes to female sexuality. Society has long peddled the narrative that women are sexually passive, yet the design of their bodies tells a strikingly different story — one of pleasure, endurance, and a potential preference for a multiplicity of partners.

Ponder this: women's bodies have been crafted for profound sexual enjoyment. The clitoris alone is a marvel of sensation, boasting over 8,000 nerve endings, ready to deliver waves of pleasure. Women's capacity for arousal outlasts their male counterparts', and the ability to experience back-to-back orgasms with minimal recovery time is nothing short of impressive. Curiously though, reaching climax for women typically requires a more extended period — up to 20 minutes on average — compared to the 8-to-10-minute mark common for men. This disparity, suggests the author, could be nature's subtle hint encouraging women to seek out more varied partners, chasing the euphoria that might be elusive with just one.

Adding to this anatomical case for diversity in partners is the intricacies of the cervix. This remarkable structure acts as a natural gatekeeper, analyzing and segregating sperm, ensuring only the most robust candidates move forward. It's a feature that, according to the author, seems perfectly adapted to a context where sperm from multiple males would be present, compelling competition for fertilization.

Let's shift our focus to the male physique, where testicle size proposes an intriguing evolutionary clue. Here, size does indeed matter — though perhaps not in the way one might initially think. For example, male gorillas, surrounded by their harems, don't need sizable testicles since their sperm faces little to no competition. Conversely, human males, akin to our promiscuous primate relatives like bonobos and chimpanzees, possess larger testicles, poised to produce more sperm in the face of potential rivalry.

To top it all off, men are biologically equipped with a unique mechanism — a seminal safeguard, if you will. During ejaculation, the final spurts include an agent that's believed to neutralize any sperm from subsequent male competitors.

This collection of biological intricacies paints a picture far removed from the monogamous image that has been etched into societal expectations. Through the prism of science, the human body — both female and male — appears to be designed for a sexual narrative that includes diversity, complexity, and a penchant for multiple partners.

Exploring the Boundless Terrain of Female Sexuality and Adventurousness

Diving deeper into the human experience of intimacy, we find women's capacity for sexual exploration stretching beyond the simple construct of monogamy. The sexual script that often gets assigned to women — reserved, consistent, and confined to one partner — is upended by their innate versatility and willingness to seek pleasure in its myriad forms.

The latest psychological research supports this with startling insights: women's sexual interests know no strict boundaries, frequently reaching across the spectrum of gender attraction with a fluidity that is less pronounced in men.

Dr. Lisa Diamond's twenty-year study unveiled that the women's sexual orientations within her sample group were not rigid. Women who identified as heterosexual were still occasionally attracted to and became intimate with other women. The magnetism of desire could pull them beyond the borders of the labels they had once given themselves.

Meanwhile, Dr. Meredith Chivers's work in her Sexuality and Gender Laboratory corroborated this fluidity. Her studies showed that heterosexual women's physiological responses, while viewing an array of erotic imagery involving different gender combinations, were generally robust across the board — an indication that women possess a broad potential for arousal, unconstrained by narrow sexual definitions.

This phenomenon isn't merely academic. Geneviève LeJeune, recognizing the latent curiosity and exploratory impulse in many straight and bi-curious women, founded the Skirt Club — an exclusive space where female fantasies become tangible, shared experiences. What started in London now ignites passions in cities across the globe, from New York to Tokyo, providing a playground for the sexually adventurous.

And the curiosity extends beyond modern soirées, taking root in age-old customs of different cultures. In Lesotho, for example, it's common for heterosexual married women to maintain a sexual relationship with a long-term female partner. Similarly, in Suriname, the concept of 'Mati' identifies women who engage intimately with both men and women, sometimes simultaneously.

As these insights from various continents and communities crystallize, they paint an unmistakable picture: women are not bound by a need for constancy from a singular partner. But there's more to this story than human behavior alone. Next, we venture beyond Homo sapiens, into the wider animal kingdom, where additional pieces of this complex puzzle await discovery.

Our Primate Kin: Revealing a Blueprint of Non-monogamy in Our DNA

Turn your gaze to the vast expanse of animal behavior, where nature's narratives play out daily on networks like National Geographic and Discovery. There, among the tree branches and savannahs, researchers glean insights into our own species by observing our primate relatives—those creatures that share striking amounts of genetic material with us. When it comes to matters of intimacy and partnership, it appears that monogamy isn't the norm for our closest non-human ancestors.

In a world where our genetic parallels with primates often mirror back at us hidden truths about our nature, we'll reveal that these relatives—our evolutionary cousins—typically do not embrace long-term exclusivity. Understanding this truth may very well shift our perception of human mating strategies.

In a revelatory study, Dr. Kim Wallen from Emory University noted something profound among rhesus macaque monkeys, with whom we share around 93 percent of our DNA. When given more freedom, rather than showing disinterest in sex, female monkeys actively pursued it, seeking out erotic encounters with a hunger for different partners. Previously, their passivity was mistaken for a lack of sexual interest. However, it became evident that variety was not just the spice of their lives but a fundamental craving. When familiar partners became mundane, the arrival of new males reignited the females' undeniable fervor for sex.

Similarly, bonobos, our closer genetic matches at a nearly 99 percent overlap, are renowned for their exuberant and indiscriminate sexual behavior. These apes, regardless of gender, engage in frequent sexual interactions with multiple partners and display a sexual fluidity that seems to disregard the sex of their partners altogether.

Considering these vibrant sexual patterns displayed by our primate peers, it begs a question: How did human societies come to foster the idea of women as sexually passive and committed to monogamy? If our non-human relatives are any indication, a natural predilection for non-monogamy might be woven into the very fibers of our being.

In exploring this surprising paradox, we will soon unravel how perception diverged from nature and how women, in particular, got cast in a role that doesn't quite match their biological blueprint. Our journey through this subject continues, as we piece together the complex puzzle of human sexuality and societal norms.

Agriculture and Inheritance: The Roots of Enforced Female Monogamy

As we stroll through the pages of history, it's clear that certain revolutions and societal shifts have not only shaped our world, but have also sent ripples through the very fabric of human relationships. The concept of female monogamy, which seems so ingrained in modern cultures, is actually a relatively recent development, a byproduct of our ancestors laying down roots in an agrarian world.

This brings us to a pivotal point: the notion of women as inherently monogamous emerged hand-in-hand with the advent of agriculture and the subsequent entrenchment of property rights.

When you trace back thousands of years, to the era of hunter-gatherers, monogamy was virtually non-existent. Men and women formed fluid partnerships within their communities, shared sexual connections freely, and collectively nurtured their offspring. This dynamic, however, was upended with the transition to an agrarian lifestyle—farming brought about the need to settle in one place, forever altering human socioeconomic structures.

Enter the plow — a simple yet revolutionary farming tool — and with it, the dawn of rigid gender roles. The physical demands of plow-based farming naturally fell to men, relegating women to the domestic sphere, taking charge of children and household maintenance. As women's contributions to food production declined, so did their societal value—a notion, as research highlights, that persists to this day.

A ground-breaking study in 2013 by economists from institutions like UCLA and Harvard substantiated this, finding that societies historically rooted in plow agriculture retained stark gender inequalities, with fewer women in the workforce or political arena, and strong biases favoring male leadership and employment. In contrast, in places where the plow was irrelevant to farming practices, women enjoyed higher status and participation in both society and the economy.

With stable agriculture came the accumulation of wealth and resources, and thus, the concept of ownership and inheritance took hold. The looming threat of bequeathing assets to a so-called illegitimate heir born out of female infidelity spawned a moral crusade against women's extramarital affairs. The author suggests that moral doctrines, literature, and laws proliferated to vehemently discourage women from straying, prioritizing paternity certainty in the name of inheritance.

Consider ancient Greece, where citizenship hinged on legitimate birth, setting a high stake for controlling female sexuality to prevent adultery — a deterrent with implications we'll further explore. This historical turn towards property rights and inheritance set the stage for locking down female sexuality within the confines of monogamous marriage, an arrangement far removed from the liberated sexual dynamics of our hunter-gatherer forerunners.

Societal Expectations and Penalties: The Shackles on Women's Sexual Autonomy

Think back to your younger days when the dread of punishment loomed like a shadow over every act of mischief. Whether it was the threat of being deprived of sweets or the impending doom of being confined to your room, these deterrents shaped your choices. In much the same way, societal consequences influence women's behavior, particularly in the realm of sexuality.

The enforcement of monogamy and the stifling of female sexual expression have historically been buttressed by both stringent sanctions and deeply entrenched norms of "proper" womanhood.

Delve into history, and you'll find the scales of punishment heavily tilted against women. In ancient Greece, the stigma of adultery for women was brutal and public; caught in the act, they would be shamed and exposed, literally paraded through streets or humiliated with transparency in their attire. These ancestral echoes of retribution were designed to inscribe a clear message: female sexual deviation would not be tolerated.

Fast forward to contemporary Western societies, and while public shaming in tunics has faded into oblivion, the repercussions for women who step outside monogamous boundaries remain disproportionately high. Marital infidelity may no longer result in ancient forms of punishment, but women still face the likelihood of greater social and economic fallout than their male counterparts.

Evidence from studies, such as a 2000 review in England and Wales, reveals that adultery contributed to nearly a third of divorces among men, a figure noticeably higher than that among women. Yet the aftermath of divorce, particularly on women, has grim ramifications. A 2008 analysis by Professor Stephen Jenkins laid bare a stark disparity: women's post-divorce descent into poverty eclipsed that of men by a factor of three.

If the descending spiral into poverty weren't penalty enough, consider the complex layers of judgment and stereotype African American women navigate when expressing their sexuality. Hypersexualized by both media portrayal and societal misconception, they often find themselves pigeonholed, forced to combat degrading stereotypes, while simultaneously grappling with the burden of embodying respectability within their own communities.

Such is the case with online dating, where African American women have reported receiving explicit sexual advances from men based on the erroneous presumption of their perpetual readiness for sex. These unsolicited propositions paint a grim portrait of a culture all too eager to confine women's sexuality within a narrow, punitive framework, penalizing those who dare to transgress.

Considering all these societal risks tied to non-monogamy, how can one accept the narrative that monogamy is an innate, natural course for women? As outlined by the author, the supposed "naturalness" of female monogamy crumbles under scrutiny, revealing instead a social facade—one that has obscured women's true potential for diverse forms of expression and pleasure.

Unraveling the Threads of Female Monogamy: A Historical and Biological Perspective

In concluding our exploration of the intricate tapestry of female monogamy, it becomes clear that this societal standard is not a product of natural inclination but rather a byproduct of historical and economic transformations.

The evolution from nomadic collectives to settled agrarian societies marked more than just a change in lifestyle; it redefined human relationships, placing new value on property and altering the social fabric to emphasize the importance of inheritance and lineage. It is within this framework that the insistence on monogamy, particularly for women, took root, prescribed as a means to manage wealth and ensure the legitimacy of heirs.

Yet, a closer examination of biology and natural human capacity reveals a stark contradiction. Women are endowed with a physicality that is attuned to varied and profound pleasure, indicating a potential proclivity for sexual diversity that challenges the monogamous norm. Despite the enforcement of monogamous unions and the social and economic penalties that reinforce them, the female body yearns for experiences that extend far beyond such constraints.

The recognition of this reality comes with a caveat — women can only fully embrace and express their sexuality when the risks of financial insecurity and societal judgment are mitigated. It is at this intersection of autonomy and liberation that women find the space to explore the depths of their desires uninhibited.

As we synthesize the key messages gleaned from these insights, it's evident that the historical narrative of naturally monogamous women has been more prescriptive than descriptive, a cultural dictate at odds with the fundamental biological underpinnings of human sexuality. The journey towards the recognition and acceptance of women's true sexual nature continues, as does the conversation around redefining the roles and expectations that have held firm for millennia.